Conscious Phone Uncoupling
For the past month, I've reduced my average phone usage time from 2-3 hours a day to 1.
I'd lost two hours, wondering what I was spending the time doing. As a working parent, I don't have a plethora of free time available. I'd spend two hours of my precious time doing what, browsing Facebook? Scrolling Instagram? Playing a hybrid of 2048 bricks and Tetris?
As an older millennial, I'm part of the generation that grew up simultaneously with the internet. I remember what it was like before the internet, but it comes to me in a dreamy sepia-colored film because I was a child then. Smartphones arrived when I was a grown-up—but barely a grown-up.
I purchased the original iPhone in my 20s and living in Washington, DC. I remember figuring out how to play Solitaire on it, and suddenly, I had something new to do on the Metro besides reading a book or newspaper. Eventually, I discovered podcasts and spent my commutes with the soothing voices of Ira Glass and Jad Abumrad.
Between then and now, the phone turned from a commute entertainment device to something I always kept in my pocket. I would pull out without thinking about it and begin scrolling/reading/watching/playing something until my mind shut off. My phone and I needed a break.
Being almost forty, I've learned a few things about myself. Gretchen Rubin popularized the idea of abstainers and moderators: some people do better completely abstaining from something they want to bring less of into their lives, while others prefer to moderate themselves. I'm of the moderator ilk; don't tell me I can't have something. That will only make me want it more.
I like certain features of my phone: texting, identifying plants, getting reminders to water my plants, and easily taking high-quality photos of my kids and pets. I like pulling up this video whenever I feel down and need a laugh. Most of all, I like having maps. My navigation skills are abysmal. I see my doctor every three months, and she knows I need to be directed back to the exit each time I'm ready to leave. Switching to a dumb phone wasn't going to be my answer.
For the past month, I've reduced my average phone usage time from 2-3 hours a day to 1. My most used apps have changed from games and social media to The Atlantic and the library app Libby. I still get reminders to water my plants.
The main benefit, though, is I've become more present. The first week was hard; turning on my phone was a subconscious routine my body played without my mind realizing what was happening. The second week, I felt like fog cleared out from my head. Not pulling my phone out of my pocket whenever my brain craves dopamine means I'm more present with my family. I'm showing my children a positive example of relating to technology. I've picked up new hobbies (sudoku) and honing existing skills (writing). I don't find myself waking up from a phone-induced reverie. Life moves more slowly.
I'll explain my phone uncoupling process in a future newsletter. It was easier than I thought, particularly after seeing my outlook improve. I wholly recommend it.
This is great to hear! I’m curious to learn what you did. Quitting social media changed everything for me in a positive way.
So we should call you then, when we want to chat?